The Bully Wars

Today DH and I went to a school-wide meeting about this new bullying program some of our local schools have been starting to use. I found it very interesting. DH did too, although he was a bit more direct about some of his concerns. I suppose in order to put this all into perspective I should provide some background.

Our son has been on the receiving end of quite a lot of bulllying lately. It started at the end of elementary school but has progressed considerably since moving to middle school. We (and by 'we' I mean 'I') have been keeping in close contact with the school regarding each instance we are made aware of. The most recent event resulted in a big 'intervention' type meeting between myself, my son (oops, our son), the school counselors and the principal. The staff did a good job of making our son feel comfortable and provide all the dirt on what's been going on. Afterwards, however, the few questions I had about how this 'new' program really works. Each of my questions was responded to with some hesitation and then the whole explanation about the fact that the program was new and they were still getting the bugs out. Okay......except that's not what I asked. Anyway, at the end DH and I were "invited" to attend this school pseudo-training thing on how it works.

It has some decent concepts and it appears the thought process behind the program was fairly well thought out. And then we come to the part where one of the teachers asks what exactly the consequences are for the "people who engage in bullying behaviour' (because, you know, it's politically incorrect to call them 'bullies'). The question came from numerous references to how important it is that the consequencing be consistant. Always. No matter what 'degree' of bullying took place.

The response to the teachers question was "Well, each school will have different consequences, so you'll need to consult with the 'team' that created the consequences for your school."

What was that, oh great trainer, about the consistancy??

*sigh*

And then there is the whole thing about 'telling' vs 'tattling'. The teachers were cautioned to be clear on the difference - except that the difference wasn't explained. This is where DH's comments came in to play. He related a story to the trainer about a situation that took place not very long ago in one of the schools that has had this program in place for a while. It involved one of our neighborhood bullies (who attended our daughter's same school) pushing our (much younger) daughter down onto the hard wooden edged sandbox at the school. The supervisor, who was actually the vice principal, responded to her reporting the incident with "well, are you okay?" She said "I think so". And the principal said "okay then, don't worry about it". End of story.

I could go into so much more detail but I choose not too because I can feel myself getting too emotionally caught up in it all again. But suffice it to say that what the teachers are actually DOING is contrary to what they SAY they are doing. And contrary to what they are telling every kid in the school to do - which is.....trust them to take the bullying seriously and they will be protected. (Whatever that really means).

All I can say at this point is......I am starting to understand why so many parents opt for homeschooling.

But that's a topic for another day.

Countdown to NaNoWriMo

Surfing the net tonight I was inspired to check out the NaNo forums from this past year. Having received an email announcing the impending revamping of the site for the November 1st start date for NaNo, I thought I should peek in and check out the growing anticipation (or anxiety - lol) for this years event.

Wow! Is that forum busy! I honestly thought it would dwindle down to a handful as the previous NaNo faded into history, but I was wrong. It's a *good* wrong though. I made a couple of posts - which I hope might be responded to before the site closes for maintenance - and made one last visit to my profile. Bittersweet, my friends. Bittersweet.

Onto the next item of business for my NaNo prep.

This year I have the luxury of starting at the beginning of the challenge. Last year I didn't even find out about the site until Nov 10th. So I already have my outline and some ideas for chapter summaries. I can't find my "No Plot No Problem" book from last year, however, so I am a bit hazy on how far I can go with my pre-planning before it invades word-count territory. (Hence, one on my posts.) Perhaps I will find my book before it's too late......!

My one big question for this year is - "Which genre does my story belong in?" I could link to the post (in case anyone might be willing to provide input) but I am pretty sure that as of this Sunday everything will be gone from the site due to "fall cleaning" in preparation for the new year. That said, here is a slightly amended version of my question.


"My idea for the upcoming year is a novel based on a melting pot of semi- true events involving a woman who gets involved with her husbands buddy (with his blessing, no less) only to find that her 'new' beau runs with dangerous gangsters. It's kind of a mix of relationship angst and her own fall into alcoholism which threatens her sanity and her marriage. The gang theme is an integral part of the plot - as she tackles the issues of whether to tell or keep her mouth shut about stuff she witnesses. It clearly isn't romance, since there is really no 'romance' involved per se - but the intimate relationships are just as integral as the gang theme. The only real connection to non-fiction is the inspiration and ideas for how some of the drama unfolds."

So....any takers?? I welcome input.